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Quiet in Public, Loud in My Headphones
Social anxiety, 106 & Park, house music, and modern take on "Friends"
Corey Lightner
July 11, 2025 • Estimated Read Time: 7 minutes
“You don’t have to control your thoughts.
You just have to stop letting them control you.”
Your social battery is draining. The room hums louder than it should. You’re tired, itching to be back in your own space, maybe even a little irritated that the friend or family member who brought you out hasn’t picked up on your signals. Do you smile through the discomfort, too polite to leave? Or slip out early to protect your peace?
If you’ve never felt that quiet tug-of-war, I truly envy you.
I didn’t always realize I dealt with social anxiety. Maybe I still don’t, technically haven’t been officially diagnosed. But since moving to LA, I’ve started noticing moments that make me wonder. Like as a kid, when my mom would ask me to pay the gas attendant, I’d instinctively pass the task to my sister — who’d shoot me a look like, “Seriously?” It wasn’t fear exactly, just a deep aversion to being a bother or taking up space. A minor case of social anxiety, maybe.
Yet somehow, public speaking? Dancing? Cracking jokes in front of a crowd? No problem. I’ve always felt fine being seen when I chose the spotlight — when my presence had a clear purpose. Performing was on my terms.
Now, those small, once rare moments of hesitation show up more often in adulthood. And they've pushed me to ask: what’s actually going on here?
The older you get, the more vital it becomes to know yourself — and to communicate what you need. Because if you can’t express it, how can anyone show up for you?
I first learned this on a basic level through creating: if I can’t clearly communicate my vision to the people I bring on to help, they can’t do their job well. And that’s on me.
IS PUBLIC SPEAKING THE CURE TO SOCIAL ANXIETY?I’m no expert, but if you’re looking for a way to ease that icky social tension, public speaking classes might be a smart move. They help you find your voice, build confidence, and connect with others all at once. Some of my favorite memories come from those kinds of classes. |  Been out of class for at least 5+ years! |
Feature Story
SOMETHING TO TRY
Have you ever put a pen in your mouth to sharpen your speech? Welp, if you want to know how it works and better understand the why, then here’s your answer.
Jay Shetty is someone whose teachings and social insights I’ve been more attuned to since around 2023. I really enjoy his podcast and the conversations he has with expert-level guests on a wide range of topics. I’ve read two of his three books so far and found both to be full of valuable insight. Hope this next bit resonates with you the way it did with me.
RECENT 98&GR8 PROJECT WRAP
We’ve done it! Another project completed! I put together a team of people for the execution of a five year old idea. I can’t say toooo much at this time. But what I can say is that the inspiration for this project came from one of my favorite ads of all time.
COREY’S CORNER
As fast as 2025 has been chugging along, June came and went but felt the most intense. However, I have some fun insights to share on music, shows, films and more!
Favorite Tune To Tune Into: In making my EP, I’m always coming across tracks that make me think “Oh I want a version of this for myself”. Somedays by Sonny Fodera happens to be the last track that inspired me with that same energy. It feels like a fresh glass of orange juice in the AM - strong punch, gets you going, so good you might even dance a little. I love this dance/house track and it no doubt will make my end of year Spotify wrapped.
Stream-Worthy Selection: Ok so I must admit, I was initially apprehensive about checking out this show — that is until I binged 80% of the first season in one night. Adults on Hulu is being titled as a modern day Friends for all the best reasons. It’s actually quite charming and funny. It almost makes me want a roommate again. The cast chemistry is very visible and your grow to like the characters you may initially be put off by…except for maybe one, no spoilers. Check it out for yourself.
Something Stimulating, Shocking, or Silly: As a nostalgia junkie, I’d be remiss not to mention the 106 & Park tribute at this year’s BET Awards—easily the best show they’ve had in a while! It reminded us why older music (which isn’t even that old) still hits different: it connected generations, gave us shared moments, and made watching music videos feel like an event.
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