Acknowledging Ascent

After nearly nine days off work, I feel refreshed, rejuvenated… and a little lost.
Let me explain.

Whenever I take trips, especially ones with close friends, we tend to drift into deep conversations about purpose and personal growth. They go in all kinds of directions, but they always make me examine my patterns: what I’ve been doing, what’s working, and what I might need to change. After all, you only get different results by trying different things.

On this most recent trip, a hot air balloon ride of all things, I learned a lot about myself and my friends. That, honestly, is the best part of these experiences.

I noticed how some of my friends process grief, and how I don’t. Not in the same way, at least. I don’t dwell on it daily, but as I’ve gotten older and people around me have passed on, I’ve realized how differently I handle loss. It’s not something I fear or wait for, but something I quietly acknowledge as part of life.

When my sister once asked how I’ve managed since our aunt passed a few years ago, I told her I can’t change what happened, but I notice her in small ways. In something someone says, in a gesture, in a moment of coincidence. Tiny reminders that she’s still here somehow—the kind you could miss if you’re not paying attention.

I also paid attention to how group dynamics shift depending on who you’re around. Certain friends bring out different sides of you. I feel most powerful when I’m with people who speak my language, who can banter, debate, and dive deep. Not all my friends can do all of that, and that’s okay.

But the biggest realization? At 27 years, 7 months, and 29 days old, I’m still not 100% sure who I want to be yet. And that was frustrating. I thought I had that figured out—who I was, where I’m going, what I want from life. Turns out, not entirely.

As someone who prefers absolutes, who likes when this + that = this, uncertainty is tough. When a variable’s missing, I can’t predict the outcome, and that drives me crazy. But the older I get, the more I’m learning to let go, to stay curious, and to trust that the answers will show up, just maybe not in the way I expect.

Maybe that’s the beauty of taking time off—you return lighter, but with a lot more to think about. Anyway, while I was floating through the clouds (literally), I captured a few moments worth sharing. And speaking of taking flight, my latest New Balance spec project is finally ready for lift-off.

New Balance, True Balance - Out Now!

Something about a fresh pair that makes you want to…